During the first week of November Blaine was out in Vancouver taking a course at JIBC, the third week of November I am attending a conference in Toronto. We took the second week as a vacation and met up in Ottawa for a road trip south.
My flight arrived at 5pm and I took a taxi to the Hilton Garden Inn where I picked up our truck then headed over to Bayshore Mall for a cut and colour. I had a couple of hours to kill so watched Puss in Boots in 3D then headed back to the airport to collect Blaine from his flight. Soon we were on the road and arrived at the Thousand Islands border crossing around 1:30am. As usual they were very confused by the Nunavut plates and couldn't wrap their heads around the idea that we had travelled to Ottawa from different locations but the one thing they kept asking about was money. We sat inside for an hour while the whole night shift pulled apart our truck looking for the bag full of cash that Blaine was going to use to buy cigarettes to smuggle back into Canada. We later discovered that they had taken a knife to one of Blaine's bags. Of course they didn't find anything so instead of apologizing for holding us up for an hour the duchebag guard covered up his embarrassment by telling us over and over and over that we should buy a new truck in the US. Asshole. The next place of any size was Watertown NY where we found the cheap motel to be full. To my continued annoyance I paid $130 to stay in a shitty ass Comfort Inn because I was too exhausted to argue or go to another hotel.
Sunday morning we consumed as much free breakfast as humanly possible then jumped in the truck and continued south. Our ultimate destination was Atlanta GA but we were fairly flexible about how to get there so with a combination of maps, sat navs and our awesome brains we devised the route on the fly and headed for the Appalachian Mountains. The clock change and mother nature combined forces to make it dark as we approached the range and after a few hours dodging deer we decided to stop at the Red Roof Inn near Roanoke WV. We had planned to drive to Lynchburg TN to visit the Jack Daniels distillery but since it is in the middle of a dry county the idea became less attractive. Some googling taught us that the entire state of Tennessee is by default dry, counties and cities can opt out and choose to sell liquor by the drink or retail. The JD distillery can sell JD retail but you can't drink it. Since Mr Daniels' product is widely available and our time in Ireland and scotland had taught us all we need to know about making the stuff we elected to skip the tour on this trip.
Monday we filled up the truck and headed to Bristol Motor Speedway where we were allowed to roam around the track all on our own. We inspected the safer barriers, stood in victory lane, ran across the finish line and marveled at the angle of the banking. The guy in the gift store recommended Cracker Barrel for lunch. Unconvinced we went along for lack of a better idea and were pretty impressed. I had chicken and dumplings which was poached white chicken meat served with thick pieces of pasta like dough about the size of a gnocchi, covered in a white sauce. Really simple and really good. Because Blaine is such an awesome husband and driver we made it all the way to Douglasville GA where we went to Hooters for dinner. This was my first Hooters experience and Blaine tells me it was not as good as the one in Texas. I liked the deep fried pickle slices and am thinking of basing my 2012 Burning Man costume on the Hooters uniform.
Tuesday morning we drove to the very well hidden Tactical Armour Group workshop to get the Tahoe fitted with a custom rear bumper. Originally we were to arrive on Wednesday but it turns out that we needed that extra day... he asked us to come back at noon as it wasn't ready yet so we drove down to Atlanta Motor Speedway which is an enormous track. We couldn't get on the track itself but we did go in the stands and drive around the outside. I wanted to eat a peach but I guess November is a little late and we didn't see any roadside peach stands to satisfy my craving. Back in Douglasville we left the truck and took Kyle's car to the disappointing mall, then for some disappointing BBQ. Liquor stores here are called package stores, we found one and got some JD honey and a big bottle of Gentleman Jack. Dominic asked me to report on prices... 750ml is around $25, 1.75l is around $60. Back at TAG we hung around trying to be unobtrusive but hoping they would hurry up. We walked to the gas station and bought some "World Famous Boiled Peanuts" which are presumably famous for being so vile. Around 4pm we learned that there was a problem with the bumper and that they would have to completely rebuild the whole thing which would take 8 hours. Strangely enough we were quite happy because by this point we had decided to visit as many NASCAR tracks as possible so we took our bumper less truck to Talladega AB. We arrived just before dusk and drove down to the security booth near the track where the old man security guard (who we later learned is called Crowbar) informed us that we were trespassing. We took this information and drove on to the bizarre town of Talladega which is populated almost exclusively by fas food restaurants. Embracing the cards we had been dealt we checked into the Super 8 and bought a bucket of chicken from the KFC across the street.
Wednesday morning we breakfasted at a BBQ place next door to the RBC and pondered the presence of the Royal Bank of Canada in Alabama. Both of us failed to consider that we were in the US so ended up with enormous plates of meat and carbs, all of which was delicious. At the Talladega Super Speedway we paid $8 each to be driven around the track by a charming chap. We were allowed out to take pictures at Victory Lane but no track or stands access. As you might expect the bumper installation was not without issues but we did get on the road and drove to Charlotte NC where we ate at the DDD featured Cabo Fish Taco then checked in to a hotel near the track so we could visit as soon as they opened in the morning.
Thursday we had an ambitious day planned: Charlotte to Dover via Martinsville and Richmond. Charlotte Motor Speedway was another lock down location so we were only able to visit the gift shop and take some photos by the sign then head north into Virginia to visit Martinsville. the only souvenir left was a mug which we bought but it messed up our shot glass collection... Guess it is just a really big shot glass. The track was awesome, just like Bristol they let us wander around freely and Blaine even climbed up into the box over the finish line where the guy waves the flags. At Richmond International Raceway we climbed way up to the new Commonwealth Tower and looked down on the track but we couldn't get onto the track itself. We jumped back kin the truck and drove to Arlington for another DDD hit before continuing to Dover DE where we got to the gift store in the Casino 15 minutes before it closed. There were no rooms at the casino so we stayed across the way in the trusty Red Roof Inn where we hauled in all our bags to do a little repacking and to audit our collection of NASCAR hats, T-shirts, mugs and shot glasses.
Friday morning we drove over to the track and were intrigued to watch them preparing for a harness race. There is a horse race track running inside the oval, to access it they have poured a bridge of gravel across turn 4. We could only get onto the inside stands so were behind glass, around the far side we took our photo with the giant monster but were a little disappointed that there was no sign saying "Monster Mile" I guess maybe you are just supposed to know that. Blaine very sweetly drove around looking for welcome to Maryland and Delaware signs to humor me in my photographic quest, we didn't find any but we did get shakes from Hardee's then plugged Orange County Choppers into the sat nav and headed north through New Jersey and into New York state. I bought Johnny an awesome pleather biker jacket - can't wait to dress him up hee hee. Our accommodations for the evening were not a hotel, thanks to Facebook I learned that my school friend Lynne now lives in Garrison NY (alas not NJ as in Copland) so we spent the evening drinking wine and catching up.
Saturday morning we feasted on croissants and fruit salad then headed back to Ottawa. We decided to cross the border at Cornwall Island to check out the Mohawk blockade, to get there we drove through the beautiful Adirondack Mountains and the picturesque town of Lake Placid which has twice hosted the winter Olympics. Our border crossing was uneventful and there was no blockade for Blaine to join so we drove to Walmart and bought groceries for him to take home instead.
Sunday we dragged ourselves out of bed and Blaine just made the flight. I stayed in Ottawa for a couple of days doing more shopping. Last night something bit me on my finger, both arms and my left eyelid so I am swollen and itchy and feeling sorry for myself as I sit on the train bound for Toronto, I hope this doesn't impact my enjoyment of the waters at Body Blitz Spa this afternoon.
