more shipping minutiae

When they visited us before Christmas granny and grandpa offered to take Sage when we moved. Not Johnny, just Sage. Of course we declined, we love them both and they are so attached to each other that we couldn't separate them. However it turns out they will have to be separated for the flight.

Johnny flew up from San Francisco in the cabin with us, but he was just a wee little thing of 12 weeks then. He is a stocky little chap now and exceeds the confines of his soft travel case, I state this with absolute confidence having just tried (and failed) to wrestle him into it while Sage watched laughing. Johnny has a hard travel crate that we used when we were training him, he has plenty of room to move around in that - glad I bought a "grow-into" size. 

Today I phoned to book them on the plane and spoke with a very helpful, well informed chap at Air Canada who told me that his golden retriever has to go cargo because she is too heavy. Alarms bells started ringing... a golden retriever isn't much different to a lab, other than hair style and colour it is the same thing right? Shit. 

Join me on a journey as I figure this out.

Good news first, Johnny and his crate weigh about 40lbs which is well within Air Canada's 70lb limit and a reasonable $105 (plus applicable taxes) one way. 

According to the internet, Lab bitches weigh 55 to 70lbs. I am going to call the vet tomorrow to have them check her records and tell me Sage's weight, of course I won't share that information here as that would be a complete invasion of her privacy. Although she was more than a little perturbed I took some accurate measurements to establish the correct crate size. 

Sage measures up as follows:

A = 38"

B = 15"

C = 10"

D = 32"

Which means she needs the Sky Kennel 700. Weighing in at 44lbs this giant of the pet crate world measures 48"L x 32"W x 35"H and is a snip at $250. Although there are many dog crate manufacturers, only 2 make big dog ones and I guess they don't sell that many, hence the price hike - ouch.

Next I learn that Air Canada cargo rates are calculated by "dimensional weight" (does this seem eerily familiar to anyone else?) 

Like a good little girl (because that how I was taught at school) here are my calculations: 

48 x 32 x 35 = 53760

53760 / 166 = 323.85542

rounded up to 324lbs

Seriously? Please someone tell me I fucked this up like the car calculation. Google calculator tells me this is 146kg which leads me to the next astounding piece of data that I am almost too traumatized to type. In Air Canada Cargo world, Vancouver to Ottawa is Zone C. "AC Live" for zone C with a combined kennel and dog (or dimensional weight whichever is greater) of over 100kg is $555.00 (plus taxes).

Huh. Well I guess I won't bother phoning the vet then, she can eat nothing but cream puffs for the next month and it won't matter. Maybe we can pad the walls of the crate with excess baggage and use our hirsute child like a drug mule to maximize this rip off?

But we aren't done yet. This only gets them to Ottawa. The helpful chap from Air Canada explained to me that First Air operate as half passenger half cargo so they can load items over 70kg on a forklift. How rude to insinuate that our beautiful girl needs to be lifted with a fork lift! There is an advantage however, she can travel as "pets in the baggage compartment" rather than cargo so the flight from Ottawa to Iqaluit will only cost Sage $225 and Johnny $75 (plus applicable taxes I hear you chorus). They had better start saving up their pocket money. 

If I have this right it will cost ($105 + $555 + $75 + $225)

$960 in puppy airfare alone!!!! 

do they got champagne and hot towels before their three-course dinner?

I just ran the math to see how much cheaper it would be if we squish Sage in the next size crate down which is 39"L x 26"W x 30"H and that she wouldn't be able to stand up or lie down in properly. I calculate it to be 83 dimensional kg so we would only knock $100 off with Air Canada and another $125 from the First Air rate.

Not worth the degree of cruelty for saving $225... or is it?

Please use the comments field to vote :-)